Milward, Jeff

The remembrance of Jeff was extraordinarily accurate. He had the most enticing and shy smile. He was close to wordless, except rarely when they might come in a rush, and was close to defenseless against verbal attack. He was both intense and beguiling. I met Jeff on the Stanford University campus. He was bicycling and I was about to attend an orientation. This was 1972. I never did get to that orientation. I saw this striking young man with luminous hazel eyes and remarkably lithe physique. He was immediately attractive and attracting. We met, talked and within a very short time became summer roommates and remained so in 3 locations in San Mateo County. Jeff at the time was attending San Mateo JC and pursuing an AA in television production. He operated a tv camera and dearly would have loved to get a job in the field. We drifted apart, but maintained contact over the years. When he became ill we reconnected and I visited him weekly. I always regretted that the reconstitution of our friendship became serious only upon the onset of his illness. I've often thought of him since and could only yearn that he could have survived, if for no other reason as an exemplar of the gentle harmless gay man that he was and would have remained.

In the mid 70's I found myself living precariously in Palo Alto when I met Jeff. We bicycled together and got stoned when we hung out. He was a sweet man, unpretentious and loving. He introduced me to ELO. I saw him only once after our summer, at a gay pride parade in SF. He had climbed a pole for a better view of the parade and I could only shout to him to try and rise above the noise. It is now forty years later and I still have warm feelings for him. He lives on in my memory.