Bower, Michael

Oh Mikie-I didn't know... Michael danced into my life in about 1976-on the dancefloor of Going My Way?-where one of his notable dances was to Rubberband Man-I smile as I remember the moves he made-like he had a rubberband around his leg and he would pull the imaginary rubber band and lift his knee while dancing. I lost touch with Mikie for a year or two-he had moved to San Francisco. I ended up relocating to San Francisco in around 1978 and when my car-full of Wisconsinites from Madison arrived a cold blustery night we had only a phone number and address for Mikie. We called, and were told we probably could find him at Alfies dancing. We braved the line, even going to the trouble of my taking my shoes off once inside and sending them out to the waiting line as we had a female companion and this was in the terrible days of open toed shoe policies-basically anti female. We got her in. At end of the evening, Mikie took us to the flat on Upper Market he shared with roommates...at the time I was amazed to find 3 of his roomies were guys I sort of knew from Madison, WI-and Going My Way?! I lived with this group of Expatriated Madisonians for months until I established a place of my own...and subsequently lost track of Mikie again. Mikie and I wore the same sized clothing-so we did a lot of trading outfits-and we both liked the same baubles...Mikie was so much fun-I loved him very much. We did the Trocodero Transfer some weekends, too. Regretfully, I recently found one of the roommates from Upper Market on Facebook, and he told me that Mike had passed, as well as Danny, another roommate up there. Mikie-you are missed... Nickie, as you called me...

Dear Michael, the time I spent with you was an important part of my life in San Francisco. I remember meeting you at a party hosted by Russell D. You chatted me up, not knowing the grief I was working through. Michael, you were incredibly genuine and handsome. We made plans to meet for a date later. I think it was later that night you were hit by a car while riding home on your motor scooter. I recall you calling me from the hospital after multiple surgeries on a fractured pelvis. I remember the pain you smiled through, even with tears in your eyes. When you were discharged home with a hospital bed to your apartment on Potrero Hill in SF, you rang me up to come over. You still smiled through your recovery. We dated a few times during the months that followed, but a relationship was not in the cards for us. Then one morning you called me while I was working at Toshiba Medical in SSF. I new from your voice something was very wrong. When I arrived you were in distress with a very high fever. I drove you to SF Gen'l ER. They took you in immediately. In the weeks that followed, you told me you that you had AIDS. After being stabilized in the days that followed, you returned home. The months passed, then a mutual friend told me you were in the ICU at Ralph K Davies. I remember when I visited you. Your oxygen saturation had dropped and you were wearing a non-rebreather mask. When I came in, sat on your bed, held your hand, I asked if you remembered me. I saw the tears in your eyes when you nodded yes several times. I told you I loved you as I left. You smiled. That was the last time I saw your beautiful boyish smile. Michael, you were loved then as you are loved now. Thank you for walking into my life and allowing me to be a part of yours.