Perger, Stephen Gregory Steve

I moved to San Francisco in January, 1980, at the age of 21. I did not know why I was different. I knew I had to get out of my hometown, a small town in central New York state, near Syracuse. I needed to mature and I knew it would not happen there. San Francisco was my destination. I was mindless at the time. If I was going to do the move, I had to do it fast, while I still had the nerve. I needed to be on my own and in charge of my own destiny. I left home without saying a word to anyone. I drove cross country. When I arrived, I was employed within a month. It was so easy back then. I was able to come out. I made friends that I thought would last a life time. One day while working downtown, I saw the headline announcing the beginning of a deadly disease spreading through the gay community, mostly men. Sadly, I thought, it could be me someday and I felt jinxed. I was finally getting comfortable and now a barrier has gone up to reek havoc in all of our lives. I discovered I was HIV positive in 1987. Then my friends, that I thought would be with me today, began to disappear. Like fast action photography, friends were gone, the crowds in the bars were smaller, the Castro almost deserted. It was a sad time. Now I am alone. After 35 years, I could the leave the City I love and never be missed. Like I was never here. Thank you, San Francisco, for raising me and understanding my needs. Life was simpler in the 80's and 90's. I miss my friends. I morn my past. I will survive though, with your help, City by the Bay. My first search here, was my best friend, Steve. My first loss. He passed in 1987. I miss you Steve. I miss you Ray. I miss you Dennis. I miss everyone gone from my life but never forgotten.

I met Steve in a bar on Castro, October 1984. I remember his smile, his laughter, his wit like it was yesterday. I was abroad when I got the news that Steve had died. To this day, I carry his obituary with me in my wallet. I miss you and will never forget you. Rest In Peace, sweetie.