Stuart McDonald
Salt Lake City, UT
8 Mar 2012 |
My lover died of AIDS in San Francisco on May 7, 1988. I drank heavily for about 4 months afterward, then got sober and began going to AA meetings everyday in the Castro area of the city. I remember often seeing Jeff at those AA meetings. He would sit in the back by himself and seemed a kind of rebel loner. I identified with that, so we started talking and became friends. Jeff turned out to be a very warm, shy, kind and generous person. He worked at the Zuni restaurant on Market Street at the time and I remember him inviting me and a couple of other friends to eat there. Anyway, my frequency at AA meetings declined after a few months, so I had irregular contact with Jeff throughout the rest of 1988. I started a hunger strike for HIV and gay anti-discrimination laws on Jan. 2 1989. I was well into the hunger strike when Jeff showed up, afraid that his roommate was violent and he wasn't safe living there. Jeff asked if he could stay with me temporarily, so I let him. He had become very irrationally paranoid by that time, and I think his fear of his roommate was also paranoia. It was clear there was something very wrong with his thinking. He went into the hospital and they found large holes in his brain, probably due to his HIV infection, and that was the cause of his reasoning problems and paranoia. He died shortly thereafter. I remember going to his service at the Catholic Church in the Castro and even stood up and spoke during a portion of the service where loved ones and friends were invited to say a few words. Jeff died far too young exactly 23 years ago tomorrow. I still have very fond memories of him and hope he is in a place where he is happy and surrounded by loved ones. Later, my old friend. |
